I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m a white male. Twice a complete racist stranger snuck up behind me and broke my jaw eleven years apart for no reason and no one paid for the crimes, adding to the fury I feel. After numerous surgeries where the doctors only added to the problem, I am left virtually useless in the working world unable speak or even breathe properly. My jaw feels like it’s in a vice and most of the facial and neck muscles in the left side of my face are useless. I served my country for three years in the military. No medications deal with the nerve damage and I am struggling to keep my spirituality and my sanity. I keep busy as often as I can, but all I feel is anger and resentment for those responsible. I have no respite for the pain and I can’t find a way to find my spiritual self.