Become a masterful lover. Give your Goddess these 3 gifts- surprise and delight her with your ability to be hold space, listen to her body, and honor her sacred temple. You will stand out from other men, as a lover, if your master these 3 powerful Tantric practices.
Give Her Your Masculine Presence
Being clear and focused is one of the qualities of masculine energy. Presence is the ability to step out of mental chatter and be in the moment. When she feels your masculine presence she will want to open to you. Women like to feel special. When you focus your full attention on her, she will begin to feel like the Goddess that she is.
If she is open to physical touch and the setting is appropriate, greet her with a “Melting Hug.” If you are taller, bend your knees and align with her, belly-to-belly, heart-to-heart. Place your right hand on her back, over her heart, and your left hand on her lower back. As you hold her, breathe with her. When the hug ends, look deeply into her eyes without speaking. See the Goddess within her and let her see the God within you. Then, share something that you appreciate about her- “You look radiant tonight.”
Listen to Her Body
Flow is one of the qualities of feminine energy. In order to be in her flow, a woman needs to open her heart, connect with her body and her breath. Spend as much time listening to her body as you do to her words. Tune into her breath. Is her breath shallow or deep? How is she holding her body? Is her body tense or relaxed? How does her heart feel? Is it open or closed? Allow your Presence to help her to open her heart and relax her body. This happens when she trusts you and feels she can relax and surrender into the moment. The more present you are, the more she can surrender.
One way to begin tuning into her body is by lying next to her- either spooning behind her with your hand over her heart or facing her in the Scissors Position. (Scissors Position- one of her legs between yours and her other leg is resting on top of your hip.) Then, begin to breathe with her. If you are facing her, you can also gaze into each other’s eyes as you breathe together.
Once you have harmonized your breath with hers, begin exploring touch in a variety of ways. Bring a sense of wonder to your exploration of her body, as if this is first female body you have ever felt. Notice the texture of her skin. Is it warm or cool? Does she respond differently depending on how you touch her?
Touch can be perceived differently, depending on the intention of the giver and the receiver. Are you touching her to give her pleasure or to take pleasure for yourself? How open is she to receive? Is she tolerating your touch or drinking it in with relish. Bring awareness to the experience of giving and receiving touch. See what you discover.
Try something new- blindfold her and spend an hour caressing every part of her body, except her yoni. (“Yoni” is a Sanskrit word, meaning “Cosmic Matrix,” which we use in Tantra instead of the term “vagina.”) Use your fingers, lips, hands, feathers, flowers and even food. When her whole body is vibrating with desire, it will be easier to listen to what her body wants sexually.
Also, remember that women enjoy giving, as well as receiving. Give your Goddess a chance to give you pleasure too. See if she can read your body. Let her discover how you like to be touched. You might want to let her blindfold you and touch your body everywhere accept your vajra (“Vajra” means “Thunderbolt” in Sanskrit and is the word we use in Tantra instead of “penis.”), to get you vibrating.
When you allow pleasure to flow, it will often guide you into lovemaking. Be open to this possibility, if it feels right. When making love, let go of any ideas you have about what “should” occur. Be open to the freshness of each moment. Allow intuition to be your guide. Let go of expectations and see what unfolds. Be respectful of each other. Your body-wisdom will guide you into new experiences that neither of you may have had before.
Honor Her Temple and Close the Gate
After making love, take time to honor and appreciate the connection you shared. Snuggle and breathe together for a few minutes. Intercourse involves entering the woman’s body- her “temple.” After sex of any kind, and especially after intercourse, she needs time to integrate her experience. One way to facilitate this is to end your sacred time together by “closing the gate.” Place your hand over her yoni. Be present and hold space for her so she can allow her experience to integrate energetically, emotionally and spiritually. This ritual creates a sense of completion after lovemaking. It also makes a woman feel that she is being honored and nurtured.
Thanks for reading this article. If you master these 3 gifts, you will be surprised at how women respond to you, in and out of the bedroom. When women feel loved, they radiate love back to you. This carries over into the world-at-large. Being a better lover means bringing more love into the world.