Written by Jasmine
Spoiler Alert…or how does one end up on a personal journey to downsize and live “small”!
On the morning of June 6, 2025, lying comfy in bed, my mind began to transition between sweet dreams and the lyrical sounds of birds coaxing me back to reality. I mindlessly pulled the covers around me and sunk lower into the mattress. Suddenly my brain was blasted, rudely, with the realization of what my day held. I grimaced physically and mentally. A line from David Bowie’s song, “ch ch changes, turn and face the strain” popped into my head. I threw the covers back and did just that! Pep talking to myself to keep one foot in front of the other until we get to the “other side”.
Exactly one month before, we had accepted an offer on our mobile home and the land it rested on. There was a small, however valid, list of reasons we did this…that, when combined, made it the right decision. We had discussed it for years, but we never followed through.
A couple of weeks before this life altering decision, my other half lost his job. As a CDL long haul truck driver, finding a job that allowed him to run the trailer yard and making some local deliveries was great. Every night he was home. The pay was decent only because of the overtime required. The hours were very long. Speaking as a worried wife for her man…it was taking a toll on him. Because the company lost the contract, management eliminated the position. They handled it so badly that he did not want to remain with them in another capacity. So, on the trail for another job.
I think what it did was get us to begin to open our thinking and get honest about considering really moving forward.
Family First
Twenty years before, we had married in his home country of Scotland. We had a plan to work on getting citizenship for me and then the same in reverse for him in the U.S., knowing it would all take time to accomplish. There was much talk between us about where in the states we wanted to begin our life together. Although, Austin, Texas was high on his radar. The music scene there was a real attraction for a musician like himself! I was ready to follow him anywhere…well, okay, almost anywhere! Funny thing about the best laid plans is…they have a tendency to change! Before we could get on with those plans, my grandparents were at the stage of starting to need help because of their advancing health problems. They were still independent; however, it was unspoken that it could change quickly enough.
I came back to re-establish myself…getting driver’s license, setting up bank account, dealing with some things they needed, etc. I had planned to go back to Scotland until it became more of a need to be there. Unfortunately, 2 weeks after my arrival, Grandma went into the hospital. They would not release her without assurance I would be living with them. Otherwise, she would have had to go to a facility. Considering Grandpa’s age, they didn’t think he could handle her on his own. About 2 months later Grandpa had his turn in the hospital.
It took 14 months before Mr. could arrive to join Mrs. with the proper visa he needed. (Yes, I was counting!) We did find out late in the long process that his application had been mishandled and at that point it was expedited!
I was so blessed to be able to spend the last 2 years of their life with them. By the time hubby arrived, he was able to contribute so much alongside what I had been doing…for their care. They passed within 2 weeks of one another!
We never intended to stay indefinitely. I think once they were gone, we eventually became complacent and didn’t look seriously down the road anymore.
An ongoing discussion over the years was about how our home had become run down. He had spent so many years out on the road driving that when he was home, the last thing he wanted to do was DIY projects for his home time. Failing plumbing systems, new roofs, aesthetic updates needed inside the home, etc. While he kept things going, we saw that substantial major work would eventually be necessary.
For the last year he had been getting cold calls from cash home buyers. Up to that point we had ignored them. Out of curiosity, he spoke to some of them in between job hunting.
I had also, over the years, spoken to Realtor. The outcome of that was woeful. The mobile home was built in 1979 and had not been updated. The amount of money we would be required to spend to make the outcome worth our effort was out of the question.
Most of the cash buyers did not want to pay for the mobile home…just the land and double garage/shop. He took a call from one that gave us a very attractive offer…including the mobile. They were going to do the work on it and flip it. They told us they would accept it entirely as is. Whatever we left behind they would take care of. We would pack, sell or give away. Beyond that point, we could walk away!
Over the years, I had spent enough time watching property values, knowing we would struggle for a better offer. Also, with consideration to how up and down real estate economy can be, coming into play.
We spent a lot of time discussing the pros and cons. I think a point arrived for both of us that the writing was on the wall right there. It felt right…however scary! (Yes, my word). Our decision was made.
Major Decision Made – Now What?
The timeline was 2 months after signing. I had no clue exactly how difficult this would be to accomplish that. I knew I was overwhelmed from the start!
We had accumulated all our stuff on top of my grandparents, of what we still had. And so many boxes stored that had not been opened. Family history and memories…all those years had passed when I had not brought myself to deal with it.
A couple days after we signed the papers…that was where reality started setting in as to what we had just done! That is when I started addressing the boxes. My personality is a Highly Sensitive Person. Emotions rule my life as I sort through them to understand where I stand in that situation. I had to go through everything piece by piece…then decide what stays or goes. That was when I knew this would be a hell of a process…for me!
In the first month after signing, we spent a lot of time debating whether to buy or rent. Quickly, we realized with the prices to buy anything acceptable was not an option for us. So we switched to diving into the rental market. That was an eye opener for sure!
We immediately noticed ads for lovely houses offered at, noticeably, lower rent prices. Not a few, a lot! It made it easy to use the old adage…if it is too good to be true…it probably is.
For example, our education started with the first place we went to look at to rent that told us what we were up against for people who appeared to be renting properties.
We arranged a meeting for a house for rent up the road from where we lived. Arriving early, we parked in front of the address. It was a nice-looking neighborhood on a cull-d-sac. While we waited for the showing, a woman came out of the house. She headed to a car parked in the driveway.
She looked at us sitting there, curiously. I rolled down my window and said we were waiting for someone to show us this house for rent. ‘This house is not for rent!’ I then explained the listing we saw includes the picture, description, and address. We were informed a few people were currently renting there. She would let the owner know what we had told her.
This was unsettling news for us! Husband called alleged renter with this information. He told him “Oh, okay, I have another property you can look at”. And he would meet us there. Well, both of us looked at each other knowing this sounded shady as hell.
However, I am married to a curious guy, so he wanted to see how this played out and maybe figure out why. We drove to the address he got, and it was a good distance away. (Yeah, it was a pretty drive…ha!) We arrived in a neighborhood that was not as attractive as where we had been. It was a run-down ranch house. We could not tell if it was occupied. Surprise! We were alone, parked there. We also noted there was no realtor box on the door.
Another phone call to alleged renter. He said he was running late, so we could go try the door, front or back, and check it out. Another “um yeah!”, at that point and we were done. After much discussion between us, we could come up with no clue as to what this was all about. We came to the realization over the next week that this was not a one-off experience!
The end result, with the high prices and trying to find an acceptable area, renting did not seem like an acceptable option, especially with the less than 4 weeks we had left to vacate. In addition to trying to figure out how to validate listings!
We bounced the idea of buying a used motor home and finding a space to rent and park it. At first, I felt it was a little outrageous! However, the more we talked about it, I began to see the sense in it. It would allow us to have a roof over our head and take our time to decide our next move. We made the commitment together. Hubby submerged into the internet to research desirable motor home make/models. That type of deep dive is one of his superpowers! While he did that, I returned with purpose, with a slight spring in my step, to creating more filled boxes. Now, the plan was to mark them… motor home, storage, donation, or drop in the garbage pile. Not to mention the things we worked on selling or giving away!
It did not take my man long to grab me…armed with his newly acquired knowledge about motor homes and we went about to check out his choices. Our plan was, after an initial look inside together, that he would focus on the checklist outside and mine would be inside. I had my flashlight and went through every cupboard, closet etc., looking for any sign of water damage. Then we would meet in the middle and trade findings. A couple times…we walked away quickly because I did find signs of water damage, however subtle. One seller actually placed the manual in front of the damage in an otherwise empty cupboard!
Another one we looked at had been obviously parked in the middle of very tall grass for a long time. I quickly found water damage signs. There was also plenty of rodent signs all over inside. This left me relieved for the water damage!
The Final Countdown
I think, within a week, we purchased our new “home”. Now it was extremely real! My plan was to fully load the motor home from our house. However, reality said…nope! We had to put it into a shop for a few repairs and modifications…which took precious time away from access in the driveway.
The motor home came back from the shop, and I began to load it. My idea was to organize it properly, however, being a very methodical personality, this required time to plan out what was the best way to do this! I plugged away.
At the same time, I was looking into options for washing clothes in a motor home…without a washer/dryer. I saw the offerings on Amazon for non-heating element contraptions and found myself extremely underwhelmed! They are fine with just a handful of pieces to wash and spin. Of course, everything would have to be hung to dry. Two major problems with that.
In the Pacific Northwest…a lot of the year would be out of the question to hang outside. Number Two is…I could not envision hanging clothes inside a motor home, rationally and realistically! Not to mention the humidity it would add where containing moisture can be a real issue. Now, if we were camping for a limited time…sure. Definitely not for a long-term living arrangement! I also considered the laundromat alternative. I didn’t like it! However, the benefits for larger items seemed valid. Or for times I needed to play catch-up. The capacity of a RV unit is a lot smaller than what I was used to.
So…the only viable option for us was to get a washer/dryer in one unit. Good news…the space for it was already there. Bad news…we would have to relocate the motor home to the shop again.
By the time we got it back, there was 2 days before deadline! I did as much loading as I could, but it was not enough time at all. Hubby had the same story going for his side as well.
Both of us had lost a lot of weight over the last 2 months. We were clearly, overwhelmingly, stressed. The beauty of it was…we had done it together! When one was down…the other rose up to pull the other one up. We remembered to laugh when we wanted to cry with the pressure and madness! At that point…we said screw it…we are done.
The next day he drove the motor home to our rental spot, and I followed him down with the pick-up that was loaded up with “stuff”. The “stuff” was loaded into the motor home…we locked the door and drove back up for one more night in the place we had lived together for the last 20 years of our time together.
That evening, Hubby had gone out for an errand. I went out to the back yard and sat under the moonlight to say goodbye one last time. My heart summoned my beloved grandparents and my mom, who passed on some years before them. I could feel them gather around me and my heart swelled with love.
Memories of all the family gatherings we enjoyed there over the decades come to mind. I thought of the time my grandparents and I spent together before hubby arrived…then all the good, difficult and sad times the 4 of us spent together…before the universe called them home.
Finally, we felt as if we were leaving the nest to strike out on our own path, together. I “heard” my grandma’s silent words…”you will be alright because you are with him.”
When Hubby returned, he found me where I sat, with silent tears running down my face. Concerned…he asked if I was alright. I smiled and told him I was just saying goodbye, and I was ready to move on down the road with him!
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer
“A ship is always safe at shore. But that is not what it is built for.” – Albert Einstein
Stay tuned for part 2 of of our continuing brand new adventure!
