When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love
Francesco Hayez – Italian Painter
Written by Jasmine
(Webmistress The Majickal Garden)
In order to be able to recognize if someone is your soul mate, you need to *know thyself*. A relationship on this level is a true partnership that requires both sides to be aware of the responsibility for a healthy heart, mind and soul.
In a soul mate marriage, there is a sense of balance and a strong, positive attitude. Intimidation, manipulating ways or abuse is not part of the relationship. There is a mutual feeling of safeness. A feeling like it was meant to be with a natural fit is part of it with a shared honesty and support. With a sense of familiarity and a feeling of the spouse as a mirror is part of a soul mate relationship. This kind of marriage is not hard to maintain ( at the same time not without challenges) and are healthy, passionate and harmonious. By working together they find plenty can be achieved.
Where couples are active soul mates, there is a mutual joy in watching the growth of the other. They will accept who you are and bring out the best in you by challenging you to do your best. They are a best friend. A soul mate will not ask nor need you to change from who you are. The commitment to the marriage is cherished and small moments together are some of the best.
This basic outline of a soul mate relationship is based on an understanding that both have attained such a level of growth on a soul and human level as to be compatible and ready to share the very special chemistry *magic* that occurs with soul mates sharing lives together.
O.K. If we understand what a soul mate is…how do we convert that to the reality of our lives and the partners we have chosen? The last thing I would advocate is ending a marriage because it does not fit the blue print of an outline of a soul mate. However, there are things, in understanding what a soul mate is, that can be of help in the current relationship.
There is a very good chance that the mate you have chosen is in your soul group. There is a reason, as a spirit in lesson, for your getting together. Elements such as where the spiritual and intellectual growth stands for each side enters in to how you relate with each other. Also how one another has dealt with past issues from childhood thru adulthood. If this is understood, how past issues can affect your relationship and how you relate to one another, a desire to begin to clear them up could change things that might be somewhat undesirable in the marriage.
The more time a couple has racked up together, the easier it is for the reasons that attracted you in the first place can begin to pale. Reach back to the days when things were still fresh and focus on these traits when they shined the brightest. By making an effort to look at one another thru those eyes you can begin to see the other in a different light. Your positive response could actually bring these qualities out in the other if done with love and respect. Sometimes the best of us can forget what we were like so long ago before the focus of every day dealings of life shifted priorities.
In looking at what can be done to begin a change in the tide of a marriage with serious problems where there is a definite gulf in relating to one another…the worst thing that one could do is put the blame on the other and wait for them to *get it together*. The more rational thinking is to begin to look inside with a fresh eye as to where you can begin with yourself. Its sometimes not an easy feat for a start, however, if your being honest with yourself, you will begin to see where your own responsibility in the relationship lies and seek a place to start. When the other begins to see the changes brought about by efforts taken on your own initiative, your mate might naturally seek changes in themselves.
Soul mates do not agree on everything. There is no *ideal* mate and no one will think exactly the way you do. There will still be difficult times in a marriage, even as soul mates. No one has all the answers but with a commitment to take the responsibility to be the best you can be…it can definitely affect those around you. If we truly are spirits in lesson on this earth, it is our responsibility to discover the answers that work for ourselves individually. In a marriage where oaths were taken, from that day forward, in becoming a couple lies the responsibility to actively uphold that oath. How much time and effort put into the commitment of the marriage is a choice for both sides.
Love, respect and support to the other is a firm base that should prevail with any dealings with the mate you have chosen.
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
–Rainer Maria Rilke