As a young teen, on those nights when dinner was unappealing too my “refined” taste buds, I would eat as little as possible of the offending dish. Sometimes after dinner I would offer up my services to make chocolate chip cookies. I figured I could eat cookie dough to fill the gap left over from a skimpy dinner. The (un)rational thinking of youth, right? It appeared I was trying to be helpful. The fact I pleased my mom in the process was a bonus; however I craftily failed to mention my true reason. She had taught me how to make Nestle’s chocolate chip…and I loved them. (This was a time when it was not considered a health hazard to eat raw cookie dough, the good old days!)
Fast forward to the time when I had my own kids diving around the kitchen as I baked my double batch, for them of course! Actually, it became a labor of love for me because they were met with such approval that they would ask for me to bring them out when they had their friends over. I had altered the original recipe to get the taste and consistency that I wanted and I have continued to make them exactly that way for decades. Thin, soft and chewy.
The day came when we moved away from the neighborhood to faraway places. I returned to live back home after 12 years away. We were at a welcome home gathering with the family that had lived next door to us for 20 years.
Their kids had become adults with their own. One of them brought up coming to our back door for fresh baked cookies with enthusiastic memories of how good they were. During the next Christmas holiday season I decided to bake some for each of their families. My efforts were met with the same enthusiasm they had voiced at our gathering. It’s become a tradition every year since. Yes…it does jack up a person’s ego to hear such things!
Today I was getting the ingredients out to make some “love” cookies for hubby. I put my Pandora music list on Shuffle. I do this when I am feeling edgy and adventurous because it’s a pot luck for great music I have “liked”; which ranges from New Age to blues to country to trance. I found my music groove and was totally in the moment in front of me weaving my love into the ingredients.
My mind was blank with focus on my task. All of a sudden it snapped me back to a time in my life where I had a very difficult interaction with someone very close to me that I handled badly. The kitchen dropped away. Remorse and sadness filled my body; it hurt bad. As quick as it came on…it went with the awareness I did not have to stay there and I was back…with much thankfulness that I was.
I continue to practice focusing in my moments. More often than not I experience a peaceful calm deep inside. My mind will try to take me to the past (or worry about something in the future) away from my center but knowing it’s my choice is comforting indeed. I have increased my pleasure in accomplishing simple everyday tasks and in gratefulness for being fit to do them the best I can.
Written by Jasmine@majickalgarden.com
