I had a spare 10 minutes before it was time to walk in the door to work. So, as a full-fledged affiliate of modern tech I chose to take a quick poke around the headlines on my trusty cell. You know, to make sure the bottom half of earth had not broken evenly away at the equator to be never seen again as I slept peacefully through the night.

    I find in these unsettling disturbing times that, frequently, the headline of an article is as far as I will allow myself to go. I remind myself that this is not some random clip from the National Enquirer but it’s actual real-life stuff and currently happening! O.k. just to clarify, I am referring to the news from reputable sources. Wading into these particular patches of the newest happenings tend to feed the head shaking confusion as to why it’s all such a mess that began with the headline.

    Then I remembered a piece on the local news the other day about a new and “improved” design for a toilet. Yes, a toilet! The company that came up with the idea are targeting employers who might feel their esteemed employees are spending far too much time sitting on them; doing apparently all the many things that one might do on one…besides the most obvious that this seat was created for. Included in their vision are the public toilets that attract large groups of visitors.

    Their reasoning is that from its invention some 400 years ago it has remained the same comfortable style that has allowed the average person to be able to sit for an extended amount of time. Their answer is to adjust the even horizontal flat surface to a version that is tilted toward the floor at an approximate angle of 11 to 13 degrees. This would require the occupant to slide the lower legs back to accommodate the angle and thus create an increasingly awkward sense of a position that will encourage vacating the seat after a few minutes.

    Now, I know I was not the only one stunned with this bit of information because I witnessed my local newscasters respond with the same reaction albeit with a subtle professional delivery.

    I listened to the rain beat heavy rapid pulsating thumps over my head and watched the result cascading down my windshield; distorting the visuals in front of me. From headlines to toilets pretty much summed up my feelings about the news today and I could not help myself from smiling and chuckling out loud as I dashed to the door to start my shift.

    Written by Jasmine@majickalgarden.com

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