Blues From The Past
Happy 2016! I am relieved the holiday season is over and a fresh new year has begun as I find myself energized in motivation.
In years long gone when my home was center stage for celebration with family, I immersed myself in the preparations with enthusiasm.
When it was all over and Jan. 1st arrived I always felt the blues set in. The bright sparkling decorations, holiday food, and entertaining were gone and the thought of more months of dreary Winter days seemed endless until the emergence of Spring.
Now that most of my (small) family members have passed on and the rest are scattered across the country I find the time of year pared way down…and I am o.k. with that…now.
It’s been a process over many years where the lead up to Thanksgiving dropped me into a gloomy place where I remained until after New Year’s Day. I would struggle to put up a good front but inside I was hurting from the loss of what used to be with those I loved and missed. The festive retail decorations, advertisements/holiday music on the radio, and watching my friends in the same place I used to be would sting like a hot needle poking my body and soul each time. If I could have fast-forwarded thru it all it would have been done with a quick press of my finger.
I had to change my thinking and alleviate my pain of loss that the holidays can bring about. Practicing living in the moment has helped me a lot. My mind had accepted what used to be but my emotions had not caught up.
One of my life mottos is “There Are Trade-Offs In All Situations”. Whatever changes life tosses your way…there is loss and there is gain.
I could not change those I have lost in my life however I am not alone on my path. My husband has been nothing but patient and supportive of my dark moods regardless of how much he could know the depth I tried to cover from him. I realized how selfish and unfair I was in expecting him to continue without a resolute effort on my part to overcome this “darkness”.
The stress of finding the economy to provide a good time, baking deadlines, projects and arranging schedules are long gone. I will always have the wonderful memories that accompanied it all that made everything worth it tucked away in my heart. I realized in watching my friends with their frenzied pressures of creating their own preparations for a good time that I felt none!
I felt a freedom to create new memories with my man in the way we want to do it without pressure of expectations outside of our own desires. I also felt a bit of envy from a good friend that we had such freedom to go our own way…together.
Am I completely “cured”? <-smile I continue to mend but that deep dark veil with the painful needle like pokes are gone. I am more focused on “the now” and being happy with where I am today.
I do not “do” New Year’s resolutions. What I do is look forward to clearing out the clutter in my “nest” and digging into my projects with renewed eagerness with more focus on taking better care of my body. It’s more of a fresh attitude in waking up every day and moving forward on my path with conscious intentions. So I don’t need to “hibernate” until Spring…I look forward to what I will accomplish once it does!
On a lighter note : ). I have become a football fan! Sports fans have never been a part of my immediate family growing up. On that note, I have never lived in a home where it was any issue. I would go so far as to note if my home teams were doing well but never take time to watch any games. If I went to someone’s house and they had a game on I felt it was a background sound to tune out. I might ask politely who was playing or winning but that is where interest ended.
I remember years ago coming home for a visit, while living far away, to see my grandparents. Upon my arrival to their house…they were watching a baseball game with the “home team”. Both had their feet up in their recliners. I was pleasantly and amusingly shocked! My grandmother knew the key players and supplied me with information about them enthusiastically. How incredibly cute they are, I thought.
Fast forward to 2014 and the Seahawks were headed for the Super Bowl. I caught the passionate fever of a true fan! Yes…and my husband even bought me my first NFL t-shirt. I can now talk football with my best friend’s husband…lol. (O.K…I am still a newbie learning!) My husband teases me about being a football widower and is very pleasant and amused when I tell him I have to watch the game.
We (fans) are rooting for them once again that they will return for a 3rd time. Regardless…true fans will always be supportive.
Getting older with grace is allowing oneself to be open to new things and ideas. That is the way I see it anyway. I don’t think we are ever done learning about ourselves and who we are if we remain aware and receptive in recognizing new levels of discovery.
I wish you all the best for the brand new year!
Peace on Your Path,
Webmistress – Majickal Garden
I really like this sleep meditation and have been using it often. Insomnia
likes to visit my bed at its own discretion and timing. So I have found
guided imagery with music most helpful during those times.
The male voice is soothing and soft with a pleasant accent. It’s counter
productive to find your mind wandering in noting you really can’t relax
and follow your guide when all you can think about is how irritating the
voice is to your ears! It lasts an hour and most nights I don’t get past the
first half where I am already drifting in my dreams amongst the stars.
I spend the first 5 min or so lying on my back…mind clear…and allow
my body to sink into the mattress while focusing on the narrator. As
I do this I allow each inhale of breath to settle into each section of my
body and feel it relax…starting with my feet and work upward with
each slow relaxed inhale. Not thinking any words but only observing
as I begin to let go of tension in each body part. With one last long
slow exhale I can feel a slight tingle starting on the top of my head…
traveling down my arms to my fingers and ending in my toes.
At that point I turn over to my sleeping position and allow myself to
be guided to sleep.
(Commentary written by Jasmine-webmistress of The Majickal Garden)
“When Fear Falls Away”
By Jan Frazier (2007)
The Story of a Sudden Awakening
This is a story about a woman facing a health scare that leaves her bathed in fear. One day she asks for relief from this fear and wakes up to find it is simply gone. The book is written from her personal journals she kept about her journey of self-discovery on a soul level and how it has affected her life. It’s written with refreshing honesty and clarity.
Excerpt from the book:
“This is what I know about the general situations of human life:
-There is a place in every person that is not subject to harm of any sort. It is not subject to change or to death. It is actual.
-It is possible to become aware of this place—fleetingly, and even continuously.
-In the state of that awareness, all suffering ceases.
-There is nothing inconsistent about that state and what we think of as regular life.”
By sharing her story with us we are enlightened with the thought that our own story lines might sound different but the human aspects of emotion and ego are a part of us all. With true intentions of the heart, we can all find relief from fear in the emotions that permeates every aspect of our lives. In its place we can experience the joy of love, freedom and compassion in fully living in the moment with the relief from the past and future that can hinder our growth. By the end of this book, if we allow ourselves, we understand that the answers we seek in spiritual growth are not found in the myriad of books and manuals but truly inside ourselves.
Review written by Jasmine (Webmistress Majickal Garden)
The Stars In Your Family:
How Astrology Affects Relationships between Parents and Children
By Sylvia Freeman (1995)
“Astrology-based, Sylvia educates the reader about relationships between every member of your family. Why did my child do that? How could my mom act that way? Why can’t we relate better? Can I ever motivate my son? Is my daughter a dreamer or a doer?”
Astrology has been a tool of mine that has helped me better understand family and friends close to me. I started with myself then fanned out with my spouse then my kids followed by friends. Discovering different aspects of the zodiac signs, with regard to personality traits, has become a fascinating hobby.
I picked up a few books, when my kids were younger, to help me understand their distinct personalities better. Most books on the subject are geared towards adults with personality traits already developed. “The Stars In Your Family” puts emphasis on recognizing budding traits of Sun signs in the children.
I was very pleased to discover this book.
I am a Libra (Air) blessed with an Aquarius (Air) son and a Capricorn (Earth) daughter. Discovering how each of us interact on an astrological level individually and together was very enlightening for me and helped me relate to, as well as understand them in a very refreshing way. It also aided me in helping bring out their individual traits with a better understanding of how to do so with their own needs recognized. A better sense of understanding, compatibility and acceptance can be achieved with relationships enhanced even more.
Review written by Jasmine (Webmitress – Majickal Garden)